Sunday, November 14, 2010

Parables of the Brokenhearted

My shine is a little dull this morning
I'm tired of understanding
So hideous, it's stunning
I don't want to think
Of how you don't want me
Restless in my house
Our house, my house
Tossing and turning in my bed
Our bed, my bed
I sleep with the memory of you

I am the daisy
Whose petals are plucked away
As you decide if you love me
I am the tree
Whose bark you cut
To write your initials in
I am the ring you tossed
For your trophy

In the shower I lather
My face wet
I miss you
I'm sorry telling you I love you
Hurts you
I wish it made you smile
Coffee black
Sugarless
Where did it all go?
No control, spiraling
How did I lose you?

I am the daisy
Whose petals are plucked away
As you decide if you love me
The tree whose bark you cut
To write your initials in
The ring you tossed
For your trophy

I wish I made you smile
I sleep with the memory of you
My shine is a little dull

© 2010 by Tammy Newman. All rights reserved.

The prompt of One Shoot Sunday made me think of heartache and reminded me of this lyric I wrote for a friend over a year ago. It also a perfect contribution to Jingle Poetry Potluck on moods and feelings.

28 comments:

  1. wow. tight with emotion...i like the daisy references...it brought it to a tangible level...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Always sad when a love ends, and we have to move on.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Really intense, and I could completely relate!
    very nice!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very poignant! I love the first two lines but enjoyed the whole thing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm glad you shared this
    I'm sure for the homeless it feels like all the petals of the daisy were pulled and love is ebbed

    Lovely lyrics

    ReplyDelete
  6. this lyric is very suiting. so sad, and heartfelt
    i love your reference to the daisy as well


    thank you

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks Tammy. He loves me, he loves me not is not a very fun place. Cutting words of the heart. I like this.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You touched a sore part of my heart and soothed it with your words. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. The repeated stanza really captured it:
    "I am the daisey
    Whose petals are plucked away
    As you decide if you love me
    The tree whose bark you cut
    To write your initials in
    The ring you tossed
    For your trophy"

    Though I think you meant "daisy". The poem really hits, a heartfelt way to go with the prompt. Love is...always trying. Particularly when it has slipped us by...

    ReplyDelete
  10. this has a homeless feeling as well - daisy with petals plucked away..thanks for sharing this tammy

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well constructed and an open window to the heart of losing. Very in keeping with the mood and spirit of being unclaimed and lost that is a kind of homelessness without the material trappings.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh God, so strong and touching. Feel the helplessness and loss in your words. <3

    Beth
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  13. Tight emotional write. Nice piece.

    ReplyDelete
  14. this is good read..triggered quite a few past emotions you see...

    Do visit my other blog and drop in your thought at the post destination unknown . It too speaks of a homeless person with a brighter mood.

    ReplyDelete
  15. WOW. Wow. WOW!!!
    This is a gorgeous poem.
    my GOD. too many parts to even choose.
    WOW! yeah, I cant pick a favorite part, the whole thing is so amazing.
    Wow, you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks everybody it is the piece I am especially proud of even if I did have to revisit awful emotions. And thanks cianphelan for the gentle spelling correction.

    ReplyDelete
  17. its nice to have a little confidence in yourself and your relationship cos reassurances too, although appeasing can many a time wear thin if one partner continues to worry unnecessarily- just a personal opinion. nice write!

    ReplyDelete
  18. confidence is essential.
    fabulous flow.
    Thanks for linking up with potluck.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This was a moving and sad poem. I really felt your pain.

    ReplyDelete
  20. ...I am the daisy
    Whose petals are plucked away
    As you decide if you love me
    I am the tree
    Whose bark you cut
    To write your initials in
    I am the ring you tossed
    For your trophy
    ...

    ...I agree...these lines definitely grab one's attention...felt.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Love, love, LOVE the daisy reference... and I send you a hug if those feelings are present tense. :o)

    Rhyme Me a Smile

    ReplyDelete
  22. "My shine is a little dull this morning"

    It's both funny and sad and interesting how heartache, confusion, and pain can make us look (figuratively and even literally sometimes) dull, while the happiness brought about by love and romance makes us glow. This is an emotional piece that a lot can relate to!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Tammy
    So intense is the pain ... It got me. Thanks for sharing...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  24. claim award on my entry #160, potluck week 10.
    Happy Wednesday.
    Thanks for the lovely poetry.

    ReplyDelete
  25. how painful. great expression though. i like my coffee muddied down with lots of cream, lots of sugar, i run and enjoy it, and you definitely wouldn't want to hear me sing. :-D. liked it, and enjoyed your short bio as well. take good care~700

    my potlucks:
    http://wp.me/pU7yT-in
    http://wp.me/pU7yT-hS
    http://wp.me/sU7yT-tsunami

    ReplyDelete
  26. Just based on the title of your blog I love anything you write (I swear I was a Gypsy in a past life. I love to move.)

    This is just beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  27. Transparent! Thanks for opening your heart and life up to me........it normalizes me when that happens.

    ReplyDelete