My shine is a little dull this morning
I'm tired of understanding
So hideous, it's stunning
I don't want to think
Of how you don't want me
Restless in my house
Our house, my house
Tossing and turning in my bed
Our bed, my bed
I sleep with the memory of you
I am the daisy
Whose petals are plucked away
As you decide if you love me
I am the tree
Whose bark you cut
To write your initials in
I am the ring you tossed
For your trophy
In the shower I lather
My face wet
I miss you
I'm sorry telling you I love you
Hurts you
I wish it made you smile
Coffee black
Sugarless
Where did it all go?
No control, spiraling
How did I lose you?
I am the daisy
Whose petals are plucked away
As you decide if you love me
The tree whose bark you cut
To write your initials in
The ring you tossed
For your trophy
I wish I made you smile
I sleep with the memory of you
My shine is a little dull
© 2010 by Tammy Newman. All rights reserved.
The prompt of One Shoot Sunday made me think of heartache and reminded me of this lyric I wrote for a friend over a year ago. It also a perfect contribution to Jingle Poetry Potluck on moods and feelings.
wow. tight with emotion...i like the daisy references...it brought it to a tangible level...
ReplyDeleteAlways sad when a love ends, and we have to move on.
ReplyDeleteReally intense, and I could completely relate!
ReplyDeletevery nice!!
Very poignant! I love the first two lines but enjoyed the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you shared this
ReplyDeleteI'm sure for the homeless it feels like all the petals of the daisy were pulled and love is ebbed
Lovely lyrics
this lyric is very suiting. so sad, and heartfelt
ReplyDeletei love your reference to the daisy as well
thank you
Thanks Tammy. He loves me, he loves me not is not a very fun place. Cutting words of the heart. I like this.
ReplyDeleteYou touched a sore part of my heart and soothed it with your words. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThe repeated stanza really captured it:
ReplyDelete"I am the daisey
Whose petals are plucked away
As you decide if you love me
The tree whose bark you cut
To write your initials in
The ring you tossed
For your trophy"
Though I think you meant "daisy". The poem really hits, a heartfelt way to go with the prompt. Love is...always trying. Particularly when it has slipped us by...
this has a homeless feeling as well - daisy with petals plucked away..thanks for sharing this tammy
ReplyDeleteWell constructed and an open window to the heart of losing. Very in keeping with the mood and spirit of being unclaimed and lost that is a kind of homelessness without the material trappings.
ReplyDeleteOh God, so strong and touching. Feel the helplessness and loss in your words. <3
ReplyDeleteBeth
xx
Tight emotional write. Nice piece.
ReplyDeletethis is good read..triggered quite a few past emotions you see...
ReplyDeleteDo visit my other blog and drop in your thought at the post destination unknown . It too speaks of a homeless person with a brighter mood.
WOW. Wow. WOW!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a gorgeous poem.
my GOD. too many parts to even choose.
WOW! yeah, I cant pick a favorite part, the whole thing is so amazing.
Wow, you.
Thanks everybody it is the piece I am especially proud of even if I did have to revisit awful emotions. And thanks cianphelan for the gentle spelling correction.
ReplyDeleteits nice to have a little confidence in yourself and your relationship cos reassurances too, although appeasing can many a time wear thin if one partner continues to worry unnecessarily- just a personal opinion. nice write!
ReplyDeleteconfidence is essential.
ReplyDeletefabulous flow.
Thanks for linking up with potluck.
This was a moving and sad poem. I really felt your pain.
ReplyDelete...I am the daisy
ReplyDeleteWhose petals are plucked away
As you decide if you love me
I am the tree
Whose bark you cut
To write your initials in
I am the ring you tossed
For your trophy...
...I agree...these lines definitely grab one's attention...felt.
Love, love, LOVE the daisy reference... and I send you a hug if those feelings are present tense. :o)
ReplyDeleteRhyme Me a Smile
"My shine is a little dull this morning"
ReplyDeleteIt's both funny and sad and interesting how heartache, confusion, and pain can make us look (figuratively and even literally sometimes) dull, while the happiness brought about by love and romance makes us glow. This is an emotional piece that a lot can relate to!
Dear Tammy
ReplyDeleteSo intense is the pain ... It got me. Thanks for sharing...
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
Well worth reading again.
ReplyDeleteclaim award on my entry #160, potluck week 10.
ReplyDeleteHappy Wednesday.
Thanks for the lovely poetry.
how painful. great expression though. i like my coffee muddied down with lots of cream, lots of sugar, i run and enjoy it, and you definitely wouldn't want to hear me sing. :-D. liked it, and enjoyed your short bio as well. take good care~700
ReplyDeletemy potlucks:
http://wp.me/pU7yT-in
http://wp.me/pU7yT-hS
http://wp.me/sU7yT-tsunami
Just based on the title of your blog I love anything you write (I swear I was a Gypsy in a past life. I love to move.)
ReplyDeleteThis is just beautiful
Transparent! Thanks for opening your heart and life up to me........it normalizes me when that happens.
ReplyDelete