Friday

TGIF indeed. My first thought this morning was an almost weepy relief of "it's really truly friday!"

What a hard week. I'm sure I have felt this drained before. I just can't recall it. A reflex maybe. I'm sure I must have felt like this that night when I got home from the store to no dinner, more work, and my car stuck in the drive. I remember that I felt bad. I just don't remember how that felt.

At this moment I feel like a knot loosening. Slowly because I don't really remember how to relax.

I'm finally sitting in my backyard. I've been wanting to be here all day. I'm writing as butterflies flutter around my head. Not as majestic as one would think when you find yourself ducking with each dive bomb at your skull. Pretty but doing nothing for my levels of tension.

I'm not one of those people who serenely sit still as a bright winged insect perch on their hand, shoulder, nose. No. I pull muscles as I jump, flinch, duck, jerk out of their way.

Finally, they've rested and I can enjoy their visit...from a distance. All the better to appreciate their beauty. Don't misunderstand and think I don't enjoy the outdoors or even mind sharing my backyard with God's other creatures. I just find sudden fly byes and attacks stressful.

There are tiny strawberries growing in my lawn and ants climbing my chair...possibly my toes as well. Buttercups, pansies, dandelions, and lupines. My lawn is a derelict beauty.

Ugh. My nemesis is on the move again. I'm going to seriously hurt myself. Sigh. I'm tired. Not physically. Mentally. This week took a lot out of me.

Something is eating the rhubarb. Maybe those kamikaze butterflies with diamonds on the tips of their antenna.

I'm hidden in the weeds and contented to be here. Taking what repreave offered from Friday evening and the promise of weekend.

Dah! Seriously, must they fly so low? Why insist on being unfriendly? How did I offend them so? Sneak attacks from behind are uncalled for!

We went to a butterfly farm in Martinique once. You can imagine how I fared. Shoulders raised and hood wrapped tight around my head. I imagine I was the fastest observer they met.

Tomorrow I'll google the butterfly diet. Stubbron I'll flinch and jump but go nowhere tonight. Right here I sit.